Things They Didn't Cover in "Guffman."

[written to a musical colleague]

Thought you might want to know what you're missing by not being involved with community theatre. I've played bass in six shows since February, and these are my observations:

Drummers seem not to be aware of the fact that a straight two-beat exists outside of the concert band. You will, therefore, be treated to a swing version of "People Will Say We're In Love," or a light rock reading of "Some Enchanted Evening." If a song is in three, you will hear light jazz rhythms with brushes on the cymbal: "Dear Friend" is a great First Act closer as a jazz waltz. When a song is a legitimate swing number, it inexplicably transforms into a shuffle if the tempo is slow to moderate.

Pianists generally have good chops, but tend to use the sustain pedal as a foot rest. And they have no concept of when to lay out to let the orchestra do its thing. If they're playing an electronic keyboard, the first sound that comes out of the amplifier...is the way it's always going to sound. Tweak? Tweak what?

Underscoring is always, always, ALWAYS too loud. But people who are in the house who already know every word of the dialogue say, "It sounds fine!" Their brains fill in gaps that they actually didn't hear.

Dynamics from piano to mezzo forte, and indications of diminuendo or decrescendo, mean nothing. They're not even topics of discussion.

Many (but not all) vocalists sing everything in a pop style. It's usually the wrong style.

And the conductors. What do they do about all of this? Nothing. They won't even throw a semi-amused look at a drummer playing a rock beat in a 1940's musical, as if to say, "You're joking, right?" Nothing to indicate that they disagree or even question it. NOTHING! They either don't believe they can tell a drummer how to play, or they don't know what to tell them, or they just don't hear what's going on. That's one reason I'm grateful for my classical training: If I have to, I'll tell a drummer how to play every beat of every measure. I'll tell him not to bring the piccolo snare drum he's so proud of, because it's the wrong sound. I'll tell him that "Edelweiss" is not a jazz waltz!

Oh, the things you're missing! I expect to meet Guffman at every show.

Comments

[Aaron]

I completely agree! There are too many conductors out there who don't know what they are doing. Often times, they are vocal coaches who are waving a baton. This is not preparedness - the conductor should know every single piece of the orchestration, especially when they only have a vocal score. They should know that in an R&H show, there is no piano part for the pit, the piano part is meant for rehearsal accompaniment only. I agree with underscore - this is the R&H genius - the "Gozinda". I firmly believe (and try to address in every show that I conduct and play in) that the orchestra is another character in the show. It is the omniscient narrator. Often times people cut the underscore, but there is a reason for it. There is a reason why in the final battle scene in "Oliver" Nancy's "As Long As He Needs Me" theme comes back in a terribly sad mode, and why in "West Side Story", the underscore intro to "Tonight" has hints of "Somewhere" in every woodwind part. The perfect example of a gozinda is in "Carousel" in the 12-minute "If I Loved You" scene. I agree exactly with what you said!